HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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