You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
