mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
