Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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