when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
