careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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