so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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