Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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