I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
