yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
vagina is talking i cant
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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