I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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