Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
