So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
