Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
