I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
