ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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