pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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