I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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