Moan for me like Helen Keller
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
