Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
