spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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