I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
