did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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