yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize