Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
