i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
