With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
