so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
