Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
