Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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