She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
