I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
dude. I can hear the air.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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