the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
