Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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