I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
