if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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