those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
