Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
