of course. lets lasso hookers.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
