yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize