Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
