I smell stomach acid.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We're too hungover to prance.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
