just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
