the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
