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I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
