Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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