if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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