i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
