They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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