when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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