Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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