I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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