apparently the secret to your success is patron
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
