Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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