Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
