come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
