forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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