I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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