So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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