STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
