And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
