I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
