He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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