Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
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