So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm like, not good at living.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
