wrigley field is MILF paradise
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
