that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
