The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
