I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Drake has all the answers
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
