the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Bring me that man meat
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
