I wish i was in the wii world.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize