I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
