Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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