He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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