You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
