i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Such a big mess for such a small penis
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize