why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
