i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
